It's been a while since my last blog.
I hadn't felt much like writing until now.
My last blog was all about grief and when I wrote it I was still processing the loss of a wonderful man, a neighbour who was not only a great friend but also a Grandfather figure to my sons.
Bill was one of a kind; he was intelligent, patient and kind and I still miss him every day.
He became ill and as a family we took care of him, cooking and taking meals to him, taking him to various Dr and hospital appointments, picking up prescriptions and shopping and anything else he needed until he was no longer well enough to be at home.
He spent his last three weeks in hospital and we were heartbroken when he passed at the end of September.
His send off was very fitting and I was so proud of my husband who helped to carry the coffin and my two teenage boys who came to the funeral.
The grief has come in waves but it is beginning to ease and doesn't catch me off guard quite so much now.
Bill left such a legacy, there are places that he showed us that will always remind us of him, he used to have dogs and knew lots of places to walk off of the beaten track.
In fact when he was less mobile he said to me that he still walked his dogs and I was confused, his dogs were long gone and he wasn't leaving the house. He said that he just had to close his eyes and he could follow the same walks he would take them on in his mind, the sights, sounds and smells. He was practising mindfulness and mentally breathing in the nature and feelings he would access when he walked them in real life.
I always felt a calm presence around Bill.
After his funeral we wanted to spend some time together as a family somewhere special so we booked a surprise trip in a very special property .
Glastonbury has been a very special, magical, healing place for us.
Bill was a military man and his funeral was on Remembrance day so when I stumbled across The Corrugated Cottage near to Glastonbury and it was available that same weekend it felt like it was meant to be.
The whole cottage was world war 2 style even down to the Anderson shelter in the garden! So much thought had gone into all of the details.
There was no TV but there was a record player and a selection of board games and puzzles.
It was so cosy and lovely to reconnect with each other without the usual distractions.
So that was November and now we find ourselves in February, the last couple of months were a time of going inward, hibernating, a time of rest and renewal,
Today is the second day of the second month of twenty twenty two and it is the Celtic festival of Imbolc, the halfway mark between the winter solstice and the spring equinox and I feel just like the new green shoots, poking my head out and looking towards the light.